Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
