I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
