She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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