help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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