"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My hand turned me down
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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