Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
