And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
