Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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