I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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