i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
