he puts the penis in happiness.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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