We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Randomize
