paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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