Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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