You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
