I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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