Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
