I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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