when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize