the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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