My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
ugly people sure do ruin things
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
