That's intense
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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