Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
