ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
