I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
