You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
