Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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