We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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