go do what you do best...puke behind churches
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
