This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
