If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
