is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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