My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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