I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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