dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
