Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
