So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm bleeding and have questions
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
