arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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