Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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