dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
