What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
