i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I touched a dick in church today
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize