so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize