we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
