The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize