Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
