told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
