It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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