do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
