lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
