id be glad to
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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