Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
