you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
