I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
