what day is it and did you see me today?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
