I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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