So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
