maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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