What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
