Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Buhtt sex?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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