john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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