Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
be right there i have to get my cape
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
