You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
