He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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