If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
