South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize