i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize