none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize