he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
this is an emotional support booty call
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
